tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post113086363765523437..comments2023-09-20T11:39:52.182-04:00Comments on Crunchy Granola: Our story: why adopt?susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12000470374101306070noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-1136121861448899962006-01-01T08:24:00.000-05:002006-01-01T08:24:00.000-05:00China now requires (but did not originally) adopti...China now requires (but did not originally) adopting people (couples or singles) to sign an affadavit of heterosexuality. We might have pursued a Chinese adoption but when we learned about that particular requirement, we didn't. We didn't want to lie in our adoption paperwork.<BR/><BR/>It's not as simple as you might think to be a gay person dealing with institutions and laws that don't acknowledge gay families. Politica and I have had a religious wedding; we have had a civil union in Vermont. Simply answering the question "are you married?" seems to require what some would consider a lie or untruth no matter what answer we give. <BR/><BR/>Then there are all the institutions we deal with--everything from my doctor's office to the adoption agency to the travel agent to our workplace--which have varying abilities and desires to recognize the structure of my chosen family (and all of us who partner with adults, whether legally recognized or not, have a chosen family).<BR/><BR/>I agree with you, in part; I didn't want to do an adoption in China because of the subertfuge involved. And in general, the lesbians I know who are adopting are turning to China less and less because of that rule. But the issue of truth and lying is not as clearcut as it might be for straight people who are asked questions about their family (for one thing, people don't always know that a lesbian has a partner and thus assume we are single).susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12000470374101306070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-1135548092896463952005-12-25T17:01:00.000-05:002005-12-25T17:01:00.000-05:00I didn't know they allowed gay couples to adopt fr...I didn't know they allowed gay couples to adopt from China. There are some people who would say when you lie to adopt you are having in essence an illegal adoption. I am certainly not against a lesbian couple raisin a child but I don't agree with lying to adopt. It seems very arrogant and disrespectful to the real family who if they knew would most likely have not wanted that. And yes, when you go back to China with a little girl who can speak you will have to face the fact that you were dishonest. Not only that but blatantly disrespectful to her country of origin.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-1131755657505838352005-11-11T19:34:00.000-05:002005-11-11T19:34:00.000-05:00you're the only other person i know in the world w...you're the only other person i know in the world who understands why my medical squeamishness would prevent me from birthing a baby :) love. you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13441809988487585009noreply@blogger.com