tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post6633567484340502967..comments2023-09-20T11:39:52.182-04:00Comments on Crunchy Granola: Not Foursusanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12000470374101306070noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-21449191024783763642007-05-10T10:23:00.000-04:002007-05-10T10:23:00.000-04:00I wonder what would have happened had I gotten pre...I wonder what would have happened had I gotten pregnant at 34, instead of at 42. As it is, I'm too damned old to have another child (now 46) AND we have a tiny two bedroom house AND we like the dynamic of just one kid. But at 34? We sort of assumed we'd have two.Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460136246441367993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-31497376674080736132007-05-08T09:42:00.000-04:002007-05-08T09:42:00.000-04:00The other day J told his papa, "Before I was born,...The other day J told his papa, "Before I was born, you were even, but now we're odd." I think that's how I know our family is the right size.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-44578028999095268842007-05-05T22:28:00.000-04:002007-05-05T22:28:00.000-04:00You know, all the "research" that had been done to...You know, all the "research" that had been done to indicate that only children had all kinds of disadvantages when compared to children with siblings has all been discounted and disproven by now. I have friends who are only children, and friends with siblings, and truly, as adult people, I see no difference that I could call positive or negative either way. If you should decide at some point to add on, more power to you. If you should not, more power again for knowing that it's not the right path for you. There is no right or wrong decision here, only what you feel in your heart.Suburban Gorgonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11921120489357475543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-56686331071480110912007-05-03T21:11:00.000-04:002007-05-03T21:11:00.000-04:00I face this question most days. But MS is done. So...I face this question most days. But MS is done. So we're complete with three.Liz Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09469435277058701080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-53165531197577720802007-05-03T19:21:00.000-04:002007-05-03T19:21:00.000-04:00First, let me just say, I agree with PPB.Second, I...First, let me just say, I agree with PPB.<BR/><BR/>Second, I thought for the longest time that we would have three kids. After the Bee was born, I knew that I had been wrong to think that. Both landisdad and I are the children of an only child (his mother, my father), and we knew that we wanted to have two, but after we became parents, we knew that we'd stop at two, as well.<BR/><BR/>There are days, don't get me wrong, when I see a new baby, or think about how it would be nice for each of the kids to have a second sibling. But those days are much less frequent than the ones when I know we made the right choice for us.landismomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10328094347362872558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-18398717019731715422007-05-03T17:17:00.000-04:002007-05-03T17:17:00.000-04:00I thought I was through once, and then my life cha...I thought I was through once, and then my life changed dramatically and I had another baby. And then I knew I was done for many reasons--money, age, time, energy.<BR/><BR/>You sound like you are in a good place about this and you sound happy. So just go with that. If things change, you'll know that, too. You have good instincts about your family. <BR/><BR/>And fwiw, I don't think all those warnings about "onlies" really mean much. There are too many other variables that come into play.Rev Dr Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11607665272056430039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-18820418328913561592007-05-03T11:00:00.000-04:002007-05-03T11:00:00.000-04:00I'm one of three, and I'd really like to have thre...I'm one of three, and I'd really like to have three. I distrust two because my relationship with my sister has been rocky and I was so glad to have another sibling--I know that if I had not had my brother, being on the outs with my sister would have been much more painful. So I believe in the emergency back-up sibling.<BR/><BR/>A. has only the one sister, has always gotten along with her (perhaps because of the large differences in their personalities), and can't imagine having three kids. The idea perplexes and scares her. So we may not get there.<BR/><BR/>However, financially, right now, I don't see how we could even get to two--and I recently decided to postpone trying for a second pregnancy. Maybe next year. But postponing #2 when you're in your mid-thirties makes #3 less likely.S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06957943262402999997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-27288375952579793892007-05-03T02:28:00.000-04:002007-05-03T02:28:00.000-04:00We have a family of four, and you'd be surprised h...We have a family of four, and you'd be surprised how often I'm asked whether we'll have another -- because we haven't had a girl. And when you're asked something often enough, you think about why the answer is no. <BR/><BR/>So I often revisit why we're finished adding to our family, and it's for very similar reasons to why you are finished adding to yours. The number of kids is irrelevant. <BR/><BR/>We planned on having one. Then we had our first, and we changed our minds. Now, we've got our hands full, emotionally and financially. Even if we had a huge house with many rooms and a yard for kids to go outside in, I don't think I'd have the energy to parent another the way I want to parent. <BR/><BR/>Plus, fundamentally, I'm selfish. I don't want to add another five years before that day when I have older kids who need me less. (I remember fondly the days of up late talking and sleeping in the next day.) <BR/><BR/>And even more - very small children have a lot of needs; I'm certainly not cut out for lots of years of infant and toddler care. There really are only so many hours in a day, as well. A crying baby would take priority over talking to a school-age child about her/his project on butterflies, and I'm looking forward to enjoying that part. <BR/><BR/>My husband's an only kid. (Well, okay: he's almost an only kid. His brother came 21 years after he did, and he'd already moved out.) He doesn't feel like he missed out or is lonely. If we had stopped at one, I don't think it would have done our eldest any harm.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-38837922913145679672007-05-03T01:25:00.000-04:002007-05-03T01:25:00.000-04:00We are a family of three for very similar reasons ...We are a family of three for very similar reasons to yours, plus the smallness of our house. For a year or two (around when all her best friends were getting them) MG really, really wanted a baby sibling, and made heartbreaking pleas in that direction. We also got a fair bit of pressure from some of her friends' parents, who are our friends. <BR/><BR/>But it wasn't right for us, for our family as a whole. Sometimes I want another child, and sometimes I think it'd be good for MG to have some of the focus taken off her. But mostly I like our little family, the compactness and freedom of it: we can travel; we have some slack time now, finally, to do things besides work and parent; we can keep the satisfying but low-paying careers we have without worrying about more childcare, a bigger house (our house is really quite tiny), another set of college tuition fees.<BR/><BR/>I think it's harder for me, partly because I have a brother and while we're not always close, I'm glad he's around for a variety of reasons. RW is an only child and has always liked it fine (except for dealing with grownups who told her how lonely and deprived she was).<BR/><BR/>Anyway, it's not the right thing for everybody. But it's the right thing for us.elswherehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09682431666658202440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-40225701108992751192007-05-03T01:10:00.000-04:002007-05-03T01:10:00.000-04:00I think we're done, although I'd like to foster at...I think we're done, although I'd like to foster at some point, and could imagine that leading to a bigger family. <BR/><BR/>But I have no interest in being pregnant again, no desire to go back to the infant stage of sleepless nights. T says that he can't imagine having the kids outnumber the adults. My only wistfulness (regret is too strong a word) is at not getting to be the mother of a daughter.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09640027981607230423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-65538972641985935932007-05-02T23:09:00.000-04:002007-05-02T23:09:00.000-04:00No answers from me, but I wanted to let you know t...No answers from me, but I wanted to let you know that I really enjoy this series. You and Politica sound like wonderful parents, and Curious Girl just comes through in your writing so well. Thanks for sharing her.Bardiachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11846065504793800266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-57883659527641362272007-05-02T21:38:00.000-04:002007-05-02T21:38:00.000-04:00sounds like you know.sounds like you know.PPBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02863903314092733633noreply@blogger.com