tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post7165012332169430256..comments2023-09-20T11:39:52.182-04:00Comments on Crunchy Granola: Drawn to Dramasusanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12000470374101306070noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-90291094454544239402006-11-04T13:08:00.000-05:002006-11-04T13:08:00.000-05:00Welcome back to calmer Ripley!!
You're right, Arw...Welcome back to calmer Ripley!!<br /><br />You're right, Arwen, it's the detachment that is so hard. It makes sense that sometimes they will need their own space and time to work things out--but since my own sense (and likely all of yours) about how to work things out rarely involves tantruming for that long, it's hard to appreciate. And when your parenting philosophy is built around connection and attachment, it's hard to deal with the detachment amid hysteria.<br /><br />I'm really glad of the company here.susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12000470374101306070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-14021380408034706302006-11-04T03:55:00.000-05:002006-11-04T03:55:00.000-05:00Oh my GOD Phantom. I'm sorry that the comment got ...Oh my GOD Phantom. I'm sorry that the comment got eaten. I bet it got caught in my spam catcher, and because I've been writing so much, I didn't check it, and I hate when that happens. Very, very sorry.<br /><br />I had the stunning turn around happen in Ripley, over the past two days. Why? I have NO idea. It just did. Is this a temporary break? Might be. I'm not a betting woman.<br /><br />But I think we have to take space. There's this pre-parenting me that sits over my left shoulder and frowns that "This is not the parent I thought I'd be", when I lose my temper, or just detach. Detaching bothers me a lot; because if the tantruming goes on all day, I'm detached all day. But I hear Phantom: maybe it was detaching that helped. Oh, I don't know. Maybe it was the alignment of the planets.<br /><br />And hey, Susan; Vancouver? A Spa? I'm here for you... *g*.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-48359048905092150112006-11-03T20:19:00.000-05:002006-11-03T20:19:00.000-05:00I just had a bedtime experience like this; literal...I just had a bedtime experience like this; literally, about 15 minutes ago. I had to walk away from my daughter because I simply could not be right next to her while she was shrieking and refusing to put her pajamas on. I may or may not have kicked the wall a little bit, too.<br /><br />I hope that the equilibrium returns with CG, and you, soon.Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17358441701832129130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-21523934525793456902006-11-03T09:50:00.000-05:002006-11-03T09:50:00.000-05:00Oh, wow, do I ever hear you on this one - this wee...Oh, wow, do I ever hear you on this one - this week especially. Hang in there. Hope it's a quick turn-around.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-79529722059805592472006-11-03T09:42:00.000-05:002006-11-03T09:42:00.000-05:00I sometimes have to do the "time out for mommy" ro...I sometimes have to do the "time out for mommy" routine, because I feel the urge to just. shake. him. And I don't I won't I will NOT shake him. At those times, I tell him: "I am having trouble using my words. I need a time out."<br /><br />And I go sit on my bed with the door locked. And he'll generally scream and bang on the other side of the door, but I'm not shaking him.Liz Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09469435277058701080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-44269954622939644942006-11-03T07:49:00.000-05:002006-11-03T07:49:00.000-05:00I love the Ames books as well. And we are going t...I love the Ames books as well. And we are going through a similar phase with C. I hate it. I feel like such a bad parent most days, even though I am pretty sure I do an OK job. I keep waiting for the leap to sanity.<br /><br />It sounds like you did exactly the right thing, even though it didn't feel that way at the time. Hang in there, I hope the return to equilibrium comes soon...chichimamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17549929656881693553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-1019430752713180022006-11-03T00:17:00.000-05:002006-11-03T00:17:00.000-05:00Berry Brazelton talks about how kids seem to have ...Berry Brazelton talks about how kids seem to have an awful period right before making some developmental leap, and I think that is the same thing Ames is talking about. But it sure does make parenting "interesting" doesn't it? Hope things setttle soon.Rev Dr Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11607665272056430039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14962422.post-30664436046067613672006-11-02T22:51:00.000-05:002006-11-02T22:51:00.000-05:00You know, I commented (twice!) on that post of Arw...You know, I commented (twice!) on that post of Arwen's, and both comments got eaten. So I'll comment here, and maybe both of you will see it...<br /><br />I was telling Arwen that I have been COMPLETELY in that position, and, just as you say here, eventually we moved out of the constant disequilibrium and back into equilibrium. <br /><br />I know all too well how it can feel like bad parenting when you turn away from the drama and let the, ahem, dramatis personae draw on their own resources to resolve the crisis. But I have to say that in my experience thus far with LG, backing away from the drama is far more effective than trying to engage it or deflect it. There are times when I can help him through whatever the issue is, but when it ceases to be about an issue and just becomes about the drama itself, he does better on his own. It builds his self-confidence, too: he feels more like he can handle himself.<br /><br />Anyway, I wish a rapid return to equilibrium for both you and Arwen, and in the meantime, I've got plenty of sympathy and a vat of hot chocolate for everyone.Phantom Scribblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03258384756183844406noreply@blogger.com