09 February 2009

Freedom to Marry Week

It's Freedom to Marry Week! And there are two interesting blog carnivals going on. Mombian and PageOneQ are co-hosting a Freedom to Marry carnival, and Robin (at The Other Mother) is once again sponsoring her Some/Thing Carnival, with five days of themed posts (something old, new, borrowed, blue, and Celebrate Love to cap it all off).

I've written a fair bit about marriage already this year. I've been writing about marriage to my local representatives and to my governor. I've been having wedding fantasies, living now in a part of the world where it's possible to imagine marriage equality arriving sooner rather than later.

We've had two ceremonies so far: our Quaker wedding, which has no legal significance, and our Vermont civil union, which has legal significance only when we happen to be in Vermont. Anywhere else, it doesn't matter. The lack of mattering matters to me. With all the gains and losses in the marriage equality movement lately, I'm more aware than ever of the marriage rights I don't have.

Politica just called me to find out what size butternut squash to buy for the stew I want to make this week. We spent this weekend hanging out with my sister and her kids; we walked around outside, doing winter things. We all went to a science museum together. We ate dinner. We exchanged Christmas presents, finally. We laughed. We admired our giggly girls. We made plans for more visits.

All of it, so ordinary. And yet to listen to some marriage equality opponents talk, you'd be led to believe that this sort of ordinary life is going to be the end of civilization as we know it.

Not hardly. It's just ordinary people with an ordinary life. Check back here for some more stories this week--and check out the participants in the carnivals, too. You'll meet good people.


Arwen said...

Does your Vermont marriage count in Canada? I've always been a bit confused about that sort of thing.

susan said...

Civil unions don't count anywhere but in Vermont (I'm not sure whether New Jersey and Vermont recognize each others' civil unions--I'll ask Politica, as that's the kind of thing she will know). A civil union isn't a marriage--it confers all the state-level benefits of a marriage, but it's not a marriage. New York recognizes same-sex marriages performed in other states, but it doesn't recognize civil unions.

I would imagine that Canada would recognize marriages (from Connecticut & Massachusetts). A bit of googling today revealed that New Jersey will permit same-sex couples who are legally married elsewhere to divorce in New Jersey courts, but I'm sure that's not the case everywhere. One of the reasons we need marriage equality across the country is to resolve the weirdness of having one's legal status shift with every state.

kathy a. said...


someone will be writing about this, no doubt, but the cal supremes are reviewing the constitutionality of prop 8. they calendared oral arguments right after the briefing was finished [which tells you that they consider this case highly important]; the oral arguments are scheduled for 3/5. also, they have scheduled 3 hours of arguments, instead of the usual one. i'm very hopeful.

that still doesn't solve the problem of federal recognition, but upholding the state constitutional right to marry and to equal protection would keep momentum going.

Tall Kate said...

"All of it, so ordinary." Beautifully said. I just don't get how your family can be viewed as a threat to anyone else's.

I'm really hoping California manages to do the right thing, and that the momentum continues.

Anonymous said...

And yet to listen to some marriage equality opponents talk, you'd be led to believe that this sort of ordinary life is going to be the end of civilization as we know it.

Butternut squash stew? I don't know, the idea of two women discussing dinner ingredients seems to make a mockery of my marriage to NSAH... *rolls eyes*

Anonymous said...
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"B" said...

I've learned a lot about what a relationship should look like from you and Politica. I think you are both pretty amazing.