The Arc of the Moral Universe

Jody posted today about book spine poems, and here's one from me.  I'll call it Maryland, I think.

Anyone else want to play along?

(This post was actually written by the fine folks at the Courage Campaign website (thanks to a post by Lesbian Dad, who saw a reminder from hekebolos at DailyKos ):

Progressives are closer than ever to a victory on health care reform. As 2009 comes to a close, we’ve moved forward on other issues. But what’s looming up ahead could be a disappointment.

On Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009- less than a week away- there will be critical votes on on LGBT equality in three states: Washington State, Maine, and Michigan. With so much attention devoted to other issues in the political realm, bloggers have banded together to ensure we don’t forget the ones with a firm deadline next week.

For that reason, we’ve [The Courage Campaign] joined with these three campaigns to put together a summary of who, what, and how. If you haven’t heard of these campaigns, and/or haven’t done anything yet to support them, please consider helping out. If you are a blogger please feel free to grab this content whole cloth and use it for your blog posts. Scroll down to the bottom to grab the formatted HTML to drop into a post.

Last year, as Obama and Democrats were winning across the country, we lost marriage equality in California. It was a bittersweet victory. Pitch in to make sure 2009 isn’t a bittersweet year. Take action to support LGBT equality TODAY.

Washington:

Who we are: Approve Referendum 71 is the campaign to preserve domestic partnerships in Washington State. By voting to approve, voters retain the domestic partnership laws that were passed during this year's legislative session, including using sick leave to care for a partner, adoption rights, insurance rights, and more.

What we need: We need phone bankers to get our supporters out to vote. Washington is an all mail-in ballot state, and we need to ensure our supporters put their ballots in the mail. Also, youth turnout is a critical component of our campaign, and youth turnout historically drops in off-year elections. So we need a lot of help to turn them out.

How you do it: Sign up here to make remote calls for Approve 71. We'll then contact you for a training, and you can make GOTV calls.

Maine:

Who we are: The No On 1/Protect Maine Equality campaign is working to protect Maine's recently-passed law legalizing marriage equality for same-sex couples. Our opponents have put the issue on the ballot for Nov 3, 2009. Because of Maine's early voting election laws, people are already voting at the polls, so we need help immediately to turn out our side at the polls.

What we need: We need you to devote a few hours to Call for Equality. Call for Equality is a virtual phonebank set up so that you can call Maine voters wherever you are. Much of Maine is rural, where canvassing isn't effective, so we need to reach these voters- along with other supporters- by phone. All you need is a phone and internet connection. No experience required! We'll provide the training, and all you need is a a few hours to help get a win in Maine.

How you do it: Click here to sign up for a training and your shift. There are lots of times available for your convenience.

Kalamazoo, MI:

Who We Are: The Yes on Ordinance 1856 / One Kalamazoo campaign is working in Michigan to support the City Commission of Kalamazoo's twice approved ordinance for housing, employment, and public accommodation protections for gay and transgender residents. Opponents forced a public referendum on the ordinance so dedicated local volunteers, led by former Stonewall Democrats Executive Director Jon Hoadley, are working to ensure voters say YES to fairness and equality and keep Ordinance 1856.

Why The Urgency: In the final weeks, the opposition has gone all out with aggressive disinformation and misleading red herrings to try to defeat the ordinance. This includes signs that say "No to Discrimination" (even though voting No actually supports continued discrimination of GLBT residents), transphobic door hangers and fliers, and now radio ads that falsely suggest that criminal behavior will become legal when this simply isn't true. The Yes on Ordinance 1856 supporters are better organized but many voters who want to vote for gay and transgender people are getting confused by the opposition.

How To Help:

1) Help the One Kalamazoo campaign raise a final $10,000 specifically dedicated to fight back against the lies on the local TV and radio airwaves and fully fund the campaign's final field and GOTV efforts.

Give here: http://www.actblue.com/page/3-2-1-countdown

2) If you live nearby and can physically volunteer in Kalamazoo sign up here. If you know anyone that lives in Kalamazoo, use the One Kalamazoo campaign's online canvass tool to remind those voters that they need to vote on November 3rd and vote YES on Ordinance 1856 to support equality for gay and transgender people.

Contact voters: http://www.onekalamazoo.com/tellfriends2

Love Ya Bunches and Scholastic Book Fairs Near You

Yesterday on Facebook I started seeing friends link to this petition asking Scholastic to stop censoring gay-friendly books. (Scholastic, for folks not in the US or not parenting kids in school, is a a publisher/distribution company that promotes children's books via book fairs at schools and catalogs; when parents purchase books through the catalogs, classroom teachers earn credits that they can spend on more books for their classroom library.) This petition has arisen because of a controversy about Lauren Myracle’s new book Luv Ya Bunches. Luv Ya Bunches, the first in a planned four-book series, is about the friendships that form among a group of girls with nothing, apparently, in common besides the fact that they're all named after flowers. But over the course of a new school year, their social circles collide and friendships form. And one of the girls has two moms.

Scholastic asked Myralce to change the character's family structure to a one mom, one dad family so that they could feature Luv Ya Bunches at book fairs. Myracle did make some other small changes to the book in response to Scholastic's concerns, but she refused to change the character's family. So Scholastic--while it is offering the book in its catalog--will not offer Luv Ya Bunches at book fairs. For a fuller version of the story, see a fine School Library Journal piece on it, and for a cool video of Myracle talking about the book, see Dana's post at Mombian.

Scholastic says it’s not censorship because there are lots of books they don’t offer at book fairs; they pick and choose based on many factors--they run a business, after all, and it seems sadly reasonable that from a business perspective, they want to avoid potential controversy. But then, from a social change perspective, why are we assuming that the very fact of two-mom families is likely to cause controversy?

So, what to do? I heard a bit from a librarian friend today and she offers a few practical suggestions. We can sign the online petition to Scholastic, of course, but I'm a little skeptical that online petitions do a lot to actually change anyone's mind (Politica, who studies such things, tells me that the political science literature suggests that politicians respond more to contacts that are clearly individualized, like hand-written letters, and less to things that are easy to click on and clearly organized by someone else).

But more importantly, we can work with our local book fairs to make the book available. Turns out that the people who organize book fairs can request that particular titles be shipped. So if your school has Scholastic book fairs, contact the librarian or parent who organizes the book fairs and ask them to order Luv Ya Bunches for the book fair.

Why is this important? Book fairs are chances for children to browse book displays and decide, on their own, what books they're interested in. Book displays offer a chance for students to look at books and think "Hey! I'd like to read that." And they offer a chance for students to look at many different books--and perhaps see themselves in a book, perhaps see someone very different from themselves in a book. If Luv Ya Bunches or other books with characters with gay/lesbian parents aren't available at book fairs, then children won't have the chance to make their own choices about reading about families like mine. And if Scholastic successfully keeps books like Luv Ya Bunches out of book fairs, it's contributing to a world view that says two-mom families, or two-dad families, are controversial in and of themselves, or distasteful on face.

So: when you attend your school's book fair (usually there's a parent afternoon or night), ask for Luv Ya Bunches. Before the fair, ask the librarian or book fair coordinator to ask the Scholastic book fair rep to include Luv Ya Bunches in the books that get shipped for your fair. Ask your friends to do the same.

And of course, if you see the book at a book fair: buy it. Buy two, and gift one to a friend.

I've not been impressed by the Scholastic book catalogs that Curious Girl has been bringing home for the past few years. For every bundle of Caldecott award winners or Jan Brett or Judy Schachner book they offer, they seem to have 20 books based on commerical tie ins, or bundled with cheap plastic crap. But Curious Girl loves looking through the Scholastic catalogs the same way I remember loving them when I was a kid (and were they so filled with crap 40 years ago? perhaps my mother felt the same way...). And CG loves the book fairs (even if her book preferences seem to be driven by what covers sparkle or have necklaces attached or have something to do with High School Musical). Books on display can be thrilling. So do your part to get Luv Ya Bunches to a book fair near you. Students at your school probably already know kids with gay or lesbian parents--it doesn't take books to inform children about the social reality that surrounds them. So let's help Scholastic figure out that a book like Luv Ya Bunches makes kids and parents happy, not mad.

And if you've still got a little energy for doing good for gay rights: help the folks in Maine with the No On One effort (voting No one One will allow the marriage equality law to go into effect) or help folks in Washington State protect domestic partner benefits (by approving Ref. 71).

More Marriage News!

• It's a trend sweeping New England: Maine has become the second state in the country to extend marriage rights to same-sex couples through legislative action. Pam's House Blend has a good post with reactions from various other marriage equality groups.
• Via Lesbian Dad, this moving video of testimony last month before the Maine legislature. If you're the cry-at-video sort, grab the tissue box now: This reminds me of everything I love about PFLAG people. My own parents--very loving and very generous people on a daily basis to me and Politica--have religious views that apparently prevent them from taking up gay rights as a personal issue. I'm so touched by parents who are moved to advocacy on behalf of their kids. (Lesbian Dad has a pretty darn cool dad, too, btw.)


• My favorite tweet of the day, from @lizschlegel: "Dear New Hampshire, Just vote Yes! We promise, all your opposite marriages will not disintegrate. Love, Vermont, Maine, CT, MA, IA
• Once the euphoria fades in Maine--and perhaps before then--there will be a lot of work to be done on the ground. Maine's constitution provides for a voter veto option that can force the marriage law onto the ballot next fall (and if enough signatures are garnered in the 90 days after the close of the legislative session, the implementation of the law will be stayed pending the election results; otherwise the law goes into effect 90 days after the close of the session). Maine has a mixed record on gay rights laws at the ballot box, so the election would be hard fought. Pop on over to the good folks at Equality Maine to thank them for their organizing, and contribute, if you're moved, to their continuing efforts to build support for the marriage law. The legislature passed it, the governor signed it, but grass roots activism will be needed to keep the law in place.
• One Iowa has been doing bang-up work in the wake of Iowa's court decision extending marriage rights to all Iowans. Visit their site to see the ad they're running now that puts marriage equality in the context of Iowa's long-standing commitment to being a place that welcomes everyone seeking freedom. Vermont Freedom to Marry will also be continuing its education campaign at fairs and events during the summer. There's a lot of organizing going on here.
• Andrew Sullivan wrote eloquently about how suddenly ordinary it seems to be announcing that another state has opened up marriage rights. He notes: "what has made this remarkable, I think, has been the way in which ordinary people and families found the courage to testify and argue and stand up for the truth in their lives. That is a psychological and spiritual achievement - to see one's own worth in the face of widespread hostility and to fight for it until majorities are persuaded. It is not without its costs or risks or moments of deep anxiety. But that's what courage means." Lesbian Dad, in the comments on her post today, notes that the impending California Supreme Court decision on the constitutionality of Prop 8 might well not be the news we want to hear, and the political battles will continue in California. Marriage equality is on the way in this country--but how long, and at what cost? I guess we'll find out.
• Marriage equality isn't a political battle I ever expected to be involved in. Since the moment for the movement has arrived, I'm happy to participate. But let's not forget that marriage equality benefits coupled people who want to get married. People who eschew marriage for whatever reason, and people who aren't married, lose out in terms of the benefits that flow through marriage in the US (health insurance being perhaps the biggie). Shortly after the Vermont legislature acted on marriage, Shannon had some very smart things to say about the virtues of making marriage matter less.
  

Photos from Vermont....and what's next

Vermont photographer Karen Pike has a wonderful set of photos up from the Vermont statehouse, capturing lawmakers before the vote and the emotional reaction from the crowd afterwards. I am particularly moved by the shots of Vermont Freedom to Marry's Beth Robinson, and the shots of a couple who have been together for 42 years.

One of the lessons from Vermont is that marriage equality comes after years of work. It's been a decade since Vermont, with its civil union law, became the first state in the US to offer same-sex couples the state-level legal benefits associated with marriage. The civil union law emerged after a court case (litigated by Beth Robinson and Susan Murray), and that court case emerged after years of foundational grassroots politicking. Vermont Freedom to Marry has been a presence at fairs, parades, and town meetings all across Vermont for years now. It's made movies, trained speakers, and lobbied. It's placed letters in favor of marriage equality in local newspaper all across the state. It's organized business people and clergy all around the state. It's gotten the message out, in a small state that prizes local governance, that marriage equality is good for all Vermonters. It's easy, when you read about the court decisions or the Vermont legislature's vote yesterday, to miss all those years of organizing. My hat is off for Robinson and all the other staff at Vermont Freedom to Marry, but also to the thousands of people they've been in contact with over the years. They changed things in Vermont one person at a time, and that's impressive.

What's happening in Iowa now shows that court decisions alone can't change things. There's been an immediate on-the-ground backlash calling for an Iowa constitutional amendment to define marriage as between a man and a woman (that amendment wouldn't be possible until 2012, I think, but the process could start now). One Iowa is marshalling folks to contact their legislators to urge them to take a stand respecting the court decision. If you're reading this in Iowa, please call or write your legislators.

I'm going to be writing the Iowa governor and Iowa senate majority leader--to let them know how happy I am when I think about Iowa this week. They don't need to hear out-of-staters tell them what to do, but I imagine they'd like to know what a positive impression the Iowa court decision is making in my part of the woods.

Vermont Freedom to Marry, by the way, is encouraging Vermonters to write and thank all the legislators who voted for the override (particularly the 3 who changed their votes, voting for the override after voting against the original bill). That's good follow up.

My favorite tweet on the subject: "The Green Mountain State goes rainbow."

Marriage in Vermont!!!

Breaking news from the Vermont Statehouse: the legislature just overrode the governor's veto of the marriage act.

I'm so overwhelmed I hardly have words. More later.

Kudos to the fabulous people at Vermont Freedom to Marry. They've been working for more than a decade, since Vermont enacted civil unions, to lay the groundwork for this legislation. Vermont is the first state in the United States to permit same-sex marriage through legislation (as opposed to marriage proceeding from court decisions, as was the case in Iowa earlier this week).

Other things to read

I'm still here, although not much here in blogland. It's been a busy semester, and I've been blogging in my head more often than blogging at the keyboard. I'll be back.

In the meantime, head over the Shakesville, which today has a guest post by a birth mother about adoption. It's an eloquently smart commentary on adoption, the pro-life movement, and gender.

I figure if I'm not writing much myself, I can point you to other good reading.

And one more thing: keep your fingers crossed for marriage equality in Vermont, would you? The legislature is holding hearings on a marriage bill this week. Lots of good testimony so far this week.

Something Old

This post is part of Robin's Some/Thing carnival for Freedom to Marry Week, and Mombian's blogswarm on the same subject. Freedom to Marry's event page can help you find local events: get involved!

Something old. We don't have a lot of old things in our house. Politica's parents emigrated as adults; my grandparents emigrated, and they didn't have much. Neither of us comes from families rich in tactile history--there are photographs, of course, in our parents' houses, but not a lot of old things.

We don't have a lot of old traditions in our house, either. We've been conscious of the new for so much of our relationship. When we got married, we designed our Quaker ceremony to include some music (before the silent worship period). We designed the program to explain the ceremony and its context to our guests. We created new rituals to celebrate holidays together, eventually opting together to join a new faith tradition as we solidified our sense of family. It's all new.

We had to represent something old at our wedding. We did have one relatively old guest--Politica's father, who is so delightfully clueless about gay marriage that he only learned that it wasn't actually legal when we got married. (And for years thereafter, he'd ask, every now and again, "so, how's the marriage issue coming along out there, as though our former, extremely conservative state was going to shift any day now. This even before marriage equality seemed to be picking up steam in the states.) We had to find a way, though, to represent the broader sense of old at the wedding. We used old language. Our wedding rings have an inscription in Politica's Family's Ancestral Language, matching the inscription on her parents' wedding rings. We list ourselves as daughter of all four of our parents on our wedding certificate, even though my parents didn't attend and her mother was long dead.

We see ourselves as creating new--but sometimes, I miss something old. I wish we had more things around us connecting us to generations that came before. But our new will someday be Curious Girl's old, and I sometimes think about our family rituals as things we are creating and polishing, creating and softening, readying them for her to take and use as she will, in her life and her family someday. Old will come, and I'm happy to have Politica by my side as it does.

Seven conversations in seven days is a Freedom to Marry program designed to promote creative talk about marriage--click on the graphic to learn more.

Freedom to Marry Week

It's Freedom to Marry Week! And there are two interesting blog carnivals going on. Mombian and PageOneQ are co-hosting a Freedom to Marry carnival, and Robin (at The Other Mother) is once again sponsoring her Some/Thing Carnival, with five days of themed posts (something old, new, borrowed, blue, and Celebrate Love to cap it all off).

I've written a fair bit about marriage already this year. I've been writing about marriage to my local representatives and to my governor. I've been having wedding fantasies, living now in a part of the world where it's possible to imagine marriage equality arriving sooner rather than later.

We've had two ceremonies so far: our Quaker wedding, which has no legal significance, and our Vermont civil union, which has legal significance only when we happen to be in Vermont. Anywhere else, it doesn't matter. The lack of mattering matters to me. With all the gains and losses in the marriage equality movement lately, I'm more aware than ever of the marriage rights I don't have.

Politica just called me to find out what size butternut squash to buy for the stew I want to make this week. We spent this weekend hanging out with my sister and her kids; we walked around outside, doing winter things. We all went to a science museum together. We ate dinner. We exchanged Christmas presents, finally. We laughed. We admired our giggly girls. We made plans for more visits.

All of it, so ordinary. And yet to listen to some marriage equality opponents talk, you'd be led to believe that this sort of ordinary life is going to be the end of civilization as we know it.

Not hardly. It's just ordinary people with an ordinary life. Check back here for some more stories this week--and check out the participants in the carnivals, too. You'll meet good people.

More Musical Fun

A hilarious and musical summary of arguments about marriage equality.

Soggily Slogging towards Equality

Check out Andrew Sullivan's blog for a series of posts that start "The View from Your Protest" for first-hand reports and photos from marriage equality protests around the world. It rained today in Germany--hence all the umbrellas and rain gear in the photo above--but we had over a hundred people, maybe 150 people, at a rainy little rally. It was hard to hear the speakers, but Curious Girl had a great time playing with an 11-month old puppy. The moment of silence at the end was very moving; otherwise, it was an oddly quiet gathering, just a series of speakers, no crowd involvement, no chanting or singing. But there was exhortation to get involved with our state marriage equality organization. And given that Politica and I haven't ever bothered to tell Curious Girl that we're not legally married, perhaps the quiet gathering was just as well. I don't know how to explain the odd (un)legalities of lesbian family life to her just now. I'm not afraid to tackle hard issues with her--but she's young enough to expect everyone to be kind and fair, and I just can't think of a way to explain to her that the way her own family is viewed in the eyes of the law here is profoundly unfair. As far as she knows, we're married, and that's all there is to it.

Here's the letter I've written to our governor, which I will be revising a bit to send to my state legislators, too:

Dear Governor _____________:

We met last August when you attended the reception for new faculty at German State University. I was impressed, then, at the way you've set up a tradition of being so personally involved with German State University and pleased to see the ways in which you make it a priority to attend events like that, which allow you to make personal connections with Germans. I'm glad you value the personal as well as the policy sides of governance. Politics is ultimately personal: the choices you oversee in the executive branch affect the ways in which Germans get to live their lives.

My partner, daughter, and I relocated to Germany late last summer because of the remarkable professional opportunities German State U offered us. More important that those professional opportunities, however, were the state legal protections Germany's domestic partner legislation offered our family. In our previous state, Politica and I had no legal relationship to each other. Here, as far as the state is concerned, we are legal next of kin, and we enjoy all the legal, state-level benefits of marriage.

However, we don't enjoy all the social benefits of marriage, and we don't enjoy all the legal benefits of state marriage that would be recognized in other states. While we are grateful for what Germany offers, I hope that someday soon, I will be able to join Politica in a legal marriage. This would be important to me for several reasons: first, marriage means something in America that domestic partnership doesn't. "I got domestically partnered last summer" just doesn't have the same ring to it that "We got married!" does. Secondly, as our daughter gets older, I don't know how I'm going to explain to her that Germany doesn't think her two mothers are married in the same way that Germany thinks her aunt and uncle are married. In our extended family, there's really little difference in how our family works and how my sister's family works: we work, we love our kids, we enjoy our surroundings. Yet my sister's marriage to my brother-in-law is recognized very differently than my relationship to Politica. My nieces' family has considerably more legal stability than my daughter's, and that troubles me greatly.

Politica and I travel outside of Germany quite frequently. Were we married, an increasing number of other states would recognize that relationship. Unfortunately, our domestic partnership--and the other legal documents we carry with us, such as health care proxies, might not be recognized by officials in other states. When Lisa Pond suddenly fell ill on a cruise ship off Florida and slipped into a coma and died, hospital officials in Miami refused to let her partner of 18 years and their 3 children in to see her, saying that Florida did not recognize their family. Without the benefits of legal marriage, lesbian and gay families depend on the kindness of others to keep their families together in times of stress. It is easy for hospital administrators or other officials to ignore a gay or lesbian partner and turn instead to a sibling of parent for a decision in a moment of medical crisis or death. I hope, should something happen to me, that no one would question Politica's relationship to me. I hope, that should someone question it, my sister and parents would defer to Politica. I hope, but I can't ever be sure. A legal marriage would settle those issues.

Full marriage equality in Germany won't solve all these problems; it will take decades, doubtless, for all 50 American states to arrive at marriage equality. But marriage equality in Germany would be an important step towards that day, and it would be an important step in improving the lives of all Germans. When our daughter runs off to kindergarten in the morning, she mixes on the playground just like all the other kids. When I come to read to her class once a week, I'm just another parent volunteer. When I pay my taxes, I'd love to be just another married German paying her taxes. There's no need to create a separate legal category for some Germans. If you have the opportunity to sign a marriage bill into law, please do it. You'll be making Germany an even better place, for all of us.

Sincerely,

Susan

Speaking Out

Saturday is a day of protest over Proposition 8. There are demonstrations scheduled in every state, and even abroad (although question to organizers: does it really make sense to call Puerto Rico an international location?). There have been many protests in California already, with thousands of protests taking to the streets. It's stirring, the sight of so many people continuing to demonstrate for marriage equality. Andrew Sullivan says it's the beginning of a gay awakening in the US. He comments, "I've long believed that the moment every gay person truly wanted the right to marry, and understood the depth of the injustice, we would win. That moment feels much closer today than it did a week ago."

There's been a lot of divisive commentary over Prop 8--accusations that African-American voters coming out for Obama put Prop 8 over the top. Nate Silver's analysis puts that to rest quite clearly. The reason Prop 8 passed was because too many Californians voted for it, period. Too many Californians who fit into lots of demographic categories voted for it. As Silver notes, if people over 65 had stayed home from the polls, Prop 8 would have narrowly failed. So in another 8 years or so, marriage equality should fare better at the California polls (although it is rather difficult to get things out of constitutions once enshrined. But still, time is on the side of marriage equality). In the meantime, we should all read some very fine posts on the relationships--or lack thereof--between the civil rights movement and the marriage equality movement. Lesbian Dad says: "Surely a silver lining will become evident in the clouds over us (dueling recriminations: homophobe! racist! bigots, all! meanwhile the powers that be at the LDS and the Knights of Columbus lean back, and smile). Lordy at times it feels like not just hard rain, but frogs and locusts are coming down. "

Frogs and locusts, but also lots of protests. The thing is, I can't quite figure out what all the protests are heading towards. In California, there's so much pent-up emotion over Prop 8: protests there make sense to me, as a way of communicating frustration and as a way of working out where to go next. But what does it mean to have nationwide protests about Prop 8? Or a boycott, as some have called for? (boycotts make no sense: gay Californians, those most directly affected by Prop 8, have no ability to not spend money where they live, San Fransisco has long been pushing, and providing, equal rights for queers in areas where the city had jurisdiction, so why boycott SF? plus see an excellent set of arguments over at An Accident of Hope.)

I can't figure out whether there's going to be a protest here in Germany or not. If there is, I'll probably go. But I want a better formulation of what the protest is aimed at: whose opinions are we targeting? What actions do we want to see? In the meantime, here's what I'm planning to do in the wake of Prop 8:

• checking out the marriage equality organization here in Germany. (want to know who's working in your state? Check out the cool stuff going on at Equality Utah! I can't find a comprehensive website listing all the state equality organizations, but HRC is one starting place. Marriage Equality USA has chapters around the country There's also a Jews for Marriage Equality group. Freedom to Marry is another source of state-by-state info. Google "marriage equality" and "your state name here" to find out what's going on in your neck of the woods.)
  
• writing to my governor to let him know what marriage would mean to me and my family
• writing to my state legislators to let them know what marriage would mean to me

I live in a state where it's possible to imagine the legislature enacting marriage equality. And what legislators--and governors with veto power--need to know is that a) their constitutents support marriage equality and b) they won't lose their seats over supporting it. One of the reasons marriage settled reasonably well in Massachusetts is that legislators who opposed civil unions tended to lose seats in the next election; legislators who supported them retained their seats. When legislators understand that their seats aren't at risk over their votes, they are less timid about supporting an issue. Even if you live in a state that already extends legal protections to same-sex couples, write your elected representatives and let them know how much you value those protections. We need to speak up, and speak out.

For Lesbian Dad, with readings

Even with all the hope in my heart before the election, I never assumed we'd win on Prop 8. Polling always overestimates support for gay rights initiatives (on marriage, on employment, on housing) and when the pre-election polls had the issue at 49% opposed, 44% in favor, I figured we'd lose in the voting booth. So for about a week now, I've had one question rattling around in my head: what am I going to say to Lesbian Dad? As anyone reading last week knows, I've been channeling her words on the California election here. What to say to someone who's been working so hard for equality, whose marriage has just been rejected by a majority of voters, and who's been writing so beautifully?

I still don't have the words I want. Despite the incredible joy associated with Obama's victory, the success of Proposition 8, not to mention the marriage bans enacted in Florida and Arizona and the Arkansas straight-people-only adoption law, have just left me feeling rather hopeless, and hopeless isn't very motivating for writing. Hopeless is ridiculous, as I know the demographics are with us. Younger voters are much more in favor of gay marriage than older voters. In California just 8 years ago, 61% of voters approved a law defining marriage as between a man and a woman. A shift of 10% points in 8 years is pretty good. Change will come. Just not this week.

Anyone on the losing end of such an intensely emotional, personal political fight needs time to recover. I'm sitting here, on the other side of the country, frequently crying as I read news reports about California. But I'm also moved at the vision of California I've seen through Lesbian Dad in the past weeks. Her prose: incisive. Her analysis: spot-on. Her humor: always there. Her generosity: omnipresent. She's been working hard to get out the vote and to raise money, and she shares credit with her readers and fellow No on 8 volunteers. Her posts have been tributes to the amazing ground network the No on 8 coalition put together. Lesbian Dad's writing let us see just how hard the No on 8 folks were working. There's criticism emerging (see Andrew Sullivan) over the political tactics on our side in California--but whatever the political postmortems on strategy turn up, there's no denying that tens of thousands of Californians mobilized to give their time for marriage equality. Millions of dollars were raised to counter the LDS-led donations for the other side. And we came close, so very close, to fending it all off.

The world I want for my child is a world in which all our marriages are legally recognized (hell, that's the world I want for me!). The world I want for my child is one that will be shaped by Lesbian Dad and countless others like her: articulate, loving activists who will fight for equality. Our families are built on love, and some day, that love will be legally recognized as creating a family. Someday.

Today, to Lesbian Dad and to the countless others who worked in California, I say, simply: Thank you. You did good. You make my world better. We stand together, and together we will do the work that remains. Together, we will make it better still.


*****************************

From Half-Changed World, lines from Marge Piercy:

This is the blessing for a political victory:
Although I shall not forget that things
work in increments and epicycles and sometime
leaps that half the time fall back down,
let's not relinquish dancing while the music
fits into our hips and bounces our heels.
We must never forget, pleasure is real as pain

From Elswhere:

The arc of the moral universe bends towards justice. Like Anne Frank's quote about people being basically good at heart, I'm not even sure if that's true. But I can only hope so. It makes a good prayer, anyway, if one were a praying person: Please, Spirit of the Universe, if there is such a thing, or if not, then combined spirits of all of us together: Make the arc of history match that of the moral universe, and bend towards justice.

And bend it as soon as you, or we, can.

From Equality California:

Victory was not ours today. But the struggle for equality is not over.

Because of the struggle fought here in California — fought so incredibly well by the people in this state who love freedom and justice — our fight for full civil rights will continue.

Activist and writer Anne Lamott writes, “Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.”

We stand together, knowing… our dawn will come.

From Andrew Sullivan:

If we had won this, this civil rights battle would be all but over. Now, it isn't. So we get back to work, arguing, talking. speaking, debating, writing, blogging, and struggling to change more minds. The hope for equality can never be extinguished, however hard our opponents try. And in the unlikely history of America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Hope for Today

For California, for marriage equality for all of us. Please vote no on 8:



For America, for the world:

Obama Says He Opposes Prop 8

• In an MTV interview, Barack Obama was asked directly whether he supports Proposition 8. He doesn't.
• Pam's House Blend has a good analysis of the Democratic politics on marriage equality in general and this election cycle in particular.
• And no one but Lesbian Dad could see--brilliantly!--the political inspiration in 101 Dalmations. All dog alert, indeed.
• If you have friends voting in California--or if you are voting in California--please do your best to make sure people know which way to vote on 8.

• Here is the latest video from No on 8:

  
  
  
  

  Here's what No on 8 says about their latest ad:

  
  

  
  

  Everyone you know needs to see this video. Use our easy spread the word tool to blast your contact list.

  
  

  Over these past few months, I know I’ve asked a lot of you. You have sacrificed so much—your time and your money. And you have responded so incredibly, building the largest grassroots movement to defeat an anti-equality ballot measure in history.

  
  

  If there is one last thing you do (before voting NO on 8 of course) it’s to take 30 seconds to watch this video and make sure everyone you know votes no.

  
  
  

  • Donations in California still matter. Given the fact that Obama's MTV interview (which does state his opposition to Prop 8) also hands the other side a nice sound bite about his opposition to marriage, ads will continue to be important. Those of us outside of California can continue to write, and continue to give.
  

  
  

  Now, time to get the work week started. Happy Monday, all.
  

Happy November!

Some more news from California: No on 8 has released a new ad countering the latest from the other side, who are trying to make it look as though Obama supports Prop 8. Obama does not support Prop 8 (although he, like most other major Democratic candidates, supports civil unions rather than marriage--see Pam's House Blend for a very fine post analyzing the problems with the Dems' maneuvering on marriage). Here's the newest ad:

It will cost about $10,000 to keep this ad on the air over the weekend. The Lesbian Dad fundraising goal has been upped to $18K (thanks to the generosity of LD's readers, and readers of the various other blogs on what she's taken to calling the LD Love Train. I feel so groovy!). Thanks to any of you who've contributed. Emergency contributions this weekend will pay for additional fliers, phone banking, and a call to California voters by Magic Johnson. The political organizing going on in California is incredibly creative--please do what you can to support it.

Remember, those of you reading in California: please vote, and please get your friends to vote, and please vote no on 8.

Reading about some of the political tactics employed by the other side on 8 really challenges my faith in humanity (that said, I've got another post brewing about the way this debate has pushed me so quickly to hyperbolic rhetoric that arguably demonizes the other side--I have persued a few personal blogs by writers in favor of 8, and some of them seem like nice people who seem regrettably taken in by arguments that can't possibly make sense. Like the argument that a state's marriage laws will prevent them from teaching morality to their children. I am trying not to demonize: can't we all agree that we don't need the law to represent everything we believe? There are plenty of things that people reasonably disagree about that we don't need the law to regulate.)

I digress....despite the challenges posed by some of the political tactics of the other side, it's felt exciting and at times exhilarating to be even peripherally involved in the fight for marriage rights. Watching fundraising totals creep up, reading comments here and over on LD--it's good. The Equality California blog today has a roundup of some interesting editorials (including one from a Mormon historian who points out that the LDS Church, given its history with persecution, really ought to be leading the fight against discrimination on marriage).

Let's hope we prevail on Tuesday.

Bonus Obama pumpkin shot:

And thanks to all of you reading who are following along with this spurt of single-focused blogging leading up to the election. I just can't get Prop 8 off my mind. No no no no no no no I keep sending out into the universe.

But after Tuesday, one way or another, I'll have other topics to write about. And tonight, I have a date! Politica and I are off to see one of our favorite singer-songwriters, and Curious Girl finally gets a babysitter here. Life is good. Happy November.

Good News, Bad News

Good News

• Halloween in the new neighborhood was pretty fun. Curious Girl and the neighbor kids ran up and down the streets. She gleefully counted her candy: 64 non-chewy pieces!
• My Obama pumpkin looks mighty fine.
• Via Lesbian Dad, news of a challenge grant: philanthropist Tim Gill and his partner will match donations to No on 8 up to $100,000.
  
• I'm helping to plan a roast for one of my grad school professors. Turns out I like event planning.
• Cousins come tomorrow!

Bad News

• I remain increasingly concerned/obsessed/drawn into Proposition 8 coverage. No on 8 is polling slightly ahead of the other side, but past experience suggests we need a 10% advantage in the polls to feel sure of victory. This is going to be close. I liked it better when I thought this election was just going to be about Obama happies.
• A commenter on one of my recent posts pointed out the Halloween tactics some yes on 8 folks are using: giving out postcards to trick-or-treaters that are ridiculously misleading (telling children that "your mom can be a man" if Prop 8 doesn't pass: let's bring a little transphobia into the homophobia, shall we?). The commenter left a link to a pretty bare bones site, so I googled and discovered some additional evidence for the truth of it. Those singing children are a low, low, dirty, misrepresenting reality trick.
  
• Guest bedroom is so.not.ready.
• Younger cat ran out the door when some trick-or-treaters came, and when Politica ran to get him, he wouldn't come to her, and just growled. He could be anywhere now.
  

Good news

• That blogging adage is true! blogging about things really makes them happen. Younger cat came back!
• We have a lot of candy left over. Not sure whether that's good news or bad news. Anybody want some?
• Lesbian Dad is just a good, good blog. I'm channeling her this week for good reason. When you have time, click on over there and browse her archives. She's got a way with words--and at the moment, those words are flying for a righteous cause.
  

Get Out the Vote--Especially in California

There was an article in the Times this week about the marriage debate in California, which quoted a Presbyterian minister on the concern that equal marriage rights will affect churches' ability to act on their differing articles of faith about gays and lesbians:

The idea that we would be forced as clergy to perform a marriage that was against our conscience, or that a church would lose its tax-exempt status, is ridiculous,” said the Rev. Karen Sapio, the minister of Claremont Presbyterian Church in Southern California. “If you look dispassionately at the record, there are a lot of churches with policies that are at odds with civil law.”

She continued, “I have not heard of a single Catholic church forced to marry someone who has been divorced, or a rabbi forced to perform an interfaith marriage or an evangelical church forced to marry a couple who has been living together.”

Civil marriage laws don't affect churches. They just don't.

New polling data in California suggests that it's pretty much a dead heat on Proposition 8, which means the race will come down to which side gets more of its backers to the polls on Election Day.

Around the country, polls have consistently overreported support for equal marriage rights (in the privacy of the voting booth, people vote in ways they won't admit to pollsters).

If you're in California, make sure to vote. Encourage your friends and colleagues to vote. Vote, and vote no on 8.

If you're not in California, you can help by financially
supporting the No on 8 efforts-- see the fundraising thermometer in the right navigation bar up top or the blue graphic at right to join the Lesbian Dad Love Train for No on 8, or click the red graphic at the top of this post to get straight to Equality California's pitch (both sites contribute to the same effort). Remember, the other side has outpaced us in fundraising over the last few months, and we're seeking to raise $3 million dollars by the end of this week (my previous post details some of what our side is up against).

In the abstract, there's a lot better uses in the world for all the money that has been spent on this election--but in the real world, I can't think of a better political fight to support right now. The future of equal marriage rights in America for the course of my lifetime is bound up in this election. I am just waiting for the day I can marry Politica, legally, and if Prop 8 passes, that day may never come.

See Lesbian Dad's latest for fuller commentary on all of this.

More on Proposition 8

I trust you'll all forgive me for channelling Lesbian Dad this week: I can't imagine anyone writing more eloquently and more pointedly about marriage politics in California right now, and she's a great source of updates from the California organizations fighting the good fights. Here's the latest from Kate Kendall (executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights) and Geoff Kors (executive director of Equality California):

Beginning last night and continuing this morning a coordinated cyber attack on the No on Prop 8 website prevented some donors from being able to contribute. This attack is being investigated by federal authorities. Fortunately, there was no breach in security and we are again able to accept contributions online.

As if that attack isn’t outrageous enough, at a recent Prop 8 rally an official campaign spokesman actually compared the right of same-sex couples to marry to the rise of Adolph Hitler and Nazi Germany.Watch the video.

This insanity needs to stop. Prop 8 needs to be defeated. It’s wrong. It’s unfair. The people supporting it are fanatical, intolerant, and willing to do and say anything to eliminate our rights. Period.

We cannot let them succeed.

Let’s do this once and for all. Help us reach our goal of $3 million by Friday.

Tony Perkins, national crusader in the effort to eliminate the right to marry, has said the battle to pass Prop 8 is more important than the presidential election. The result is that they have raised $4.5 million in the last two days and purchased another $2 million in advertising.

That’s how critical this fight is to the other side. That’s how much they care.

I believe you care more. So what more are you going to do?

Comments on Shannon's latest Strollerderby post show that some proponents of Prop 8 are voting because they've become convinced by the lies about what Prop 8 will do. I've been loving reading all the posts in the Write to Marry Day collection (more than 400!). I've been gratified to see Lesbian Dad's fundraising for No on 8 perk up so quickly in response to the current crisis. Thanks to everyone who is raising a voice, or a blog post, in support of fairness and equality.

This is, truly, a momentous election. I'm going to quote LD again to end tonight:

I’m not exactly sure what pacifists do when war is declared on them. I am not a happy user of the language of war, or its symbolism, or anything related to it, right down to but most certainly including its actual weaponry. But I do know that a lot of people are banding together here, in the name of love. A lot.

From the time of this post, we have five more days to either stand up, or keep standing. We can do it.

No on 8 Needs Money

Mombian just updated her Write to Marry post with this update from Equality California, which is echoed on the No on 8 Take Action page:

On Tuesday, the other side reported donations of $2.2 million, dwarfing the $255,650 we reported, and called on their donors to contribute another $3 million.

With this enormous sum of money they are buying every available ad space on TV in California to blast even more of their hateful lies and prevent our messages from being seen.

Unless we raise $3 million in the next three days we will likely lose.

I'm heading over to make another donation via Lesbian Dad's links (which support Equality California, one of two major organizations leading the fight against Prop. 8--you can get there via the thermometer to the right, although I encourage you to pop over to Lesbian Dad and read her wonderful prose). Please join me.